In, out, in, out, shake it all about

Tuesday morning:
7.30 Get out of bed to discover crippling stomach pain
7.31-7.45 Debate whether or not to go into work
7.45 Decide to soldier on despite crippling pain as have too much to do
7.50 Receive text from flatmate saying that Central Line suspended so spend a further 5 minutes debating if crippling stomach pain and lack of transport are enough of a reason not to go into work
7.55 Decide will go, but will wait a while in hope that searing agony/transport issues will die down by 8.45
8.45 Leave flat
8.50 Board Central Line train
8.55 Still at home station on train
9.00 Still here
9.05 Finally leave station
9.15 Arrive at Mile End to be told that we will be remaining in the platform due to a “faulty train at Bethnal Green”
9.25 Still there and advised to “alight and change where necessary”. Lots of people leave the train. I get a seat and decide to stay where I am. How long can it take to remove a train from service?
9.30 Still here and now “strongly” advised to “alight and change where necessary”. Decide to follow said advice and leave train to catch a Hammersmith and City train. Cross platform.
9.31 Announcement “The westbound Central line train will be departing in one minute”. Race back across platform to once empty train which is now magically full of commuters. Viciously eyeball the woman now sitting in what was my seat.
9.34 Arrive at Bethnal Green. Announcement “This train will be remaining in the platform due to a person being taken ill on a train at Liverpool Street” (selfish bastard).
9.35 Begin crying
Eventually arrive at work sometime later.

You’ve just got to laugh.