I decided to go into work early today as I am extremely dedicated. And I want to leave early. So I duly got out of bed at 6.30 and wandered bleary eyed around the flat attempted to find some clothes. Imagine my dismay to find that I had obviously waded through some kind of melted candle on Friday night as one of my favourite boots was covered in white candle wax. Thinking this is probably not the best impression to give in the important meeting I have to go to today, I stood for several minutes with the hairdryer and some kitchen roll, trying to dislodge said wax. (This added five minutes or so onto my usual getting ready time). I then thought I’d better check boot number two for wax, only to find that while my right foot was walking through melted wax, my left foot was evidently in some kind of deep puddle, as there was a tidemark round the whole of the boot and the sole appeared to have rotted and split straight across the middle. Cue shoe crisis—averted in approx. 10 minutes with the discovery of a forgotten pair of black boots. Slightly goth, but will do the job under long trousers.
So, I’m now up to about ten minutes before the time I’d usually leave anyway. So I rush out of the house, and fail to spot the potential death trap right in front of me. Is it a gang of muggers, I hear you ask? A speeding car? A large piece of debris? No, it’s one of those pieces of plastic that they use to wrap around boxes so you can carry them (I don’t even know what they’re called). Before you can say “these things only ever happen to me”, it’s wrapped itself around my feet and I’m doing a comedy stagger down the pavement before finally giving up and skidding to a halt on my hands and knees on the wet pavement whilst watching the contents of my bag (including several hundred tampons—they must have been breeding) strew themselves in a six foot radius around my person. Thankfully there wasn’t anyone in the immediate vicinity so I managed to maintain a small shred of dignity by picking myself and all of my tampons up and making my way to the tube station. I have skinned my knee and both my hands which wasn’t the best start to the day. And I got into work slightly later than normal anyway.
Now I’ve just thrown half a mug of coffee in my lap. Joy.
So, I’m now up to about ten minutes before the time I’d usually leave anyway. So I rush out of the house, and fail to spot the potential death trap right in front of me. Is it a gang of muggers, I hear you ask? A speeding car? A large piece of debris? No, it’s one of those pieces of plastic that they use to wrap around boxes so you can carry them (I don’t even know what they’re called). Before you can say “these things only ever happen to me”, it’s wrapped itself around my feet and I’m doing a comedy stagger down the pavement before finally giving up and skidding to a halt on my hands and knees on the wet pavement whilst watching the contents of my bag (including several hundred tampons—they must have been breeding) strew themselves in a six foot radius around my person. Thankfully there wasn’t anyone in the immediate vicinity so I managed to maintain a small shred of dignity by picking myself and all of my tampons up and making my way to the tube station. I have skinned my knee and both my hands which wasn’t the best start to the day. And I got into work slightly later than normal anyway.
Now I’ve just thrown half a mug of coffee in my lap. Joy.
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